LINCS Helped Meishal Henry to Overcome Her Addiction

 

Wanda Taylor-Wilson (left), founder and CEO of Ladies 
in Need Can Survive, Inc., helped to transition Meishal
Berniece Henry back into society after her struggle with
alcohol and drugs. Photo composite by Wiley Henry

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the final installment of a two-part series about a woman who was able to harness her addiction and begin life anew.

MEMPHIS, TN – In all her 62 years, Meishal Berniece Henry had never owned anything with her name on it, such as a driver’s license, automobile, insurance, and a home. The one she once lived in bore her ex-husband’s name.

That’s because Henry was battling alcohol and drug addiction for 35 years and succumbed to the powerful lure. She couldn’t shake it, nor could she eradicate it. Not on her own.

Then she met Wanda Taylor-Wilson, founder and CEO of Ladies in Need Can Survive, Inc., a nonprofit 501(c)(3) transitional home in the Frayser community for women grappling with substance abuse, homelessness, and domestic violence.

Henry met the criteria for admission to LINCS and spent 18 months of intense therapy, including a four-phase approach to reshape her life. Now she has a driver’s license, automobile, insurance, and her own home.

“I just feel so blessed and grateful to God that He loved me enough to give me time to see the person that He truly wanted me to be,” Henry resounded. 

Alcohol and drugs had robbed her of happiness, including her children, education, friends, and her self-worth. She had sunk to the depths of despair and found it difficult to free herself from the clutches of alcohol and drugs.

“I wasn't mentally stable,” Henry admitted. “I realized that I blamed myself and thought I was a bad person for a long time. But I realized that I was sicker than I ever could have dreamed I was.”

After coming onboard LINCS, Henry needed not worry. Taylor-Wilson is used to women whose travails are overwhelming and difficult to overcome without intervention. What she had done for others at LINCS, she would do for Henry as well.

But before Henry was admitted into the program, “she said to me, ‘Ms. Wanda, if you allow me in your program, I won't give you any problems.’ Then she said, ‘Ms. Wanda, is there any hope for me?’”

Taylor-Wilson responded with forthrightness. The women in her charge had been reduced to hopelessness prior to coming to LINCS, but they were hopeful that their lives would be transformed afterward, she said.

“She wasn’t in a good place at 61 [when she came to LINCS],” said Taylor-Wilson, speaking of Henry, one of the oldest residents to be admitted into the LINCS program. “She said, ‘What can I really accomplish in life at 61 years old?’”

Taylor-Wilson began with an Individual Service Plan for Henry. “This gives me the opportunity to guide women in the right direction,” she said, “and provide them with the skill set to obtain, sustain, and maintain them after they complete the program.”

After an ISP is completed, she said, the process of transitioning troubled women back into society begins. Henry was now set to begin the arduous journey to sobriety and freedom from drugs. But transitioning her back into society would take 18 months.

“Our program is only 12 months,” Taylor-Wilson pointed out. “But depending on the individual need, we can make some adjustments and extend the program for them.” 

She said Henry needed more time to begin the process of saving money, improving her credit score, purchasing a home, transportation, and other necessities before transitioning to her own place.

The four phases that Henry had to complete included a wide range of classes and therapy once a week, in addition to shifting her thinking of woeful thoughts and her relationship with God. 

“We provide them with case management, domestic violence education,” said Taylor-Wilson, “and classes like anger management, life skills, parenting, job readiness, financial literacy, and education assistance.”

And then there is the alcohol and drug intense outpatient program. “This helps them to understand the addiction,” Taylor-Wilson explained, “and how to live life without the addiction.”

Henry’s transition back into society is now complete. “I feel amazing! I am happy!” she exulted.

“I got her to the finish line,” said Taylor-Wilson, adding, “I’m the proudest CEO on this side of heaven, knowing that I was able to contribute something to help another woman turn her life completely around.”

For more information about Ladies in Need Can Survive, Inc., or to make a monetary donation, visit the website at www.ladiescan.org. Or contact Wanda Taylor-Wilson at 901-351-9864 or by email at ladiescan@yahoo.com.

Copyright 2023 TNTRIBUNE. All rights reserved.

A young mother struggles to find a home for her children

Tears streamed down Terrika Gray’s cheeks as she recounted the predicament that haunts her at every turn. The arrival of the New Year didn’t make it any better.

A single mother with four children, Gray is losing hope trying to find permanent housing, food for them to eat, and daycare to send the youngest two so she can work to earn a living.

Gray’s efforts to overcome her misfortunes fell short during the past year. If good fortune doesn’t smile on her this year, a grim reality awaits and the prospect of losing it all seems likely.

Terrika Gray (Photo by Wiley Henry)

“I know what the root of the problem is,” said Gray, 25, the mother of Taureon, 7; Tavion, 5; Tylene, 4; and Ta’Leah, 3. “I do not have much help. I do not have many people to lean on. I need help with childcare.”

Gray has already exhausted the assistance she was getting from Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC), a federal assistance program for low-income families. Five years, or 60 months, is the maximum benefit period.

She has also exhausted 18 months of transitional childcare. “My transitional childcare is up and my regular childcare is up. I have no other options,” said Gray, realizing “there’s nothing left but to pay out of pocket.”

But that’s not possible, given Gray’s inopportune circumstances, which began three years ago. And those circumstances seem to multiply. Now hard times keep nipping at her fragile state of mind.

Back in 2015, her son Taureon’s father was killed. “He was coming to Memphis to take Taureon back with him to Johnson City (Tennessee) until I got back on my feet,” she said. “But he got killed the day before.”

Gray was staying at a hotel at the time and needed a break to find a way to avoid long-term homelessness. His death, she said, occurred two months after Ta’Leah’s father became disabled. So the help she expected from both fathers just didn’t pan out.

With nothing but Food Stamps to live on, Gray has moved around so much until the principal at KIPP Elementary asked her to sign a contract promising not to take Taureon and Tavion out of school before the school year ends.

“We keep bouncing around,” said Gray, who bounced all the way to jail after writing some bad checks. “They were my own checks. I wrote them so I could get food and clothes for my kids.”

Gray and her children were staying at Elvis Presley Boulevard Inn when she broke the law. Since then, a judge has issued a warrant for her arrest at least seven times, she said, for violating probation.

As a result, her job prospects are limited. If she lands a job, she can’t keep it, even after she explains her dire situation. “I want to work. I want to take care of my own kids,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Within the three years, I have went to MIFA probably a maximum of 10-15 times crying out for help. I have been to (Shelby County) CSA (Community Service Agency) and other agencies.”

MIFA tucked Gray and the children in at Family Promise, a homeless shelter for families. “You have to be out by 6 a.m. and in by 6 p.m.,” she explained. “I can understand that. I am willing to work with your rules.”  

But then, she added, the rules didn’t allow her to job hunt and tend to her children during the day. Again, there was no money to pay a babysitter, which is the gist of her problem.

Gray bounced again and ended up staying two months at South Pointe Townhomes on Shelby Drive. But MLGW wouldn’t turn on the lights. “Come to find out, it was a stolen meter,” she said, “and I got hit with the charges.”

In mid-October, she moved into a rundown, dilapidated duplex in the Hyde Park community. “I had funds still left over from MIFA,” she said. “And I found this place for $350.”

Gray couldn’t get lights turned on in the duplex either, because she still owes MLGW. The landlord, who lives in Indianapolis, had advised her to use someone else’s name. But the utility wanted the landlord to come in to the office. He refused and threatened to evict Gray.

McDonald’s on Jackson was a temporary pit stop for Gray during this time. She worked there two weeks and quit. Meanwhile, her cupboard was bare and cold weather started sweeping through the decrepit duplex.

With desperation now setting in, Gray called Wanda Taylor, CEO and president of Ladies In Need Can Survive, Inc., a transitional home in Frayser for troubled women. But LINCS is not set up to take in mothers and their children, only mothers seeking help for their addictions.

“Even though I couldn’t house her, I still reached out to help,” said Taylor, who notified MIFA and called a friend. Both resources led to Gray and her children spending two days in a hotel.

Taylor also purchased three-days worth of groceries and ice for Gray, who stored the perishables in an ice chest in the chilly duplex.

“All the emergency shelters are full,” said Taylor, using all the resources at her disposal to help Gray. But Gray’s predicament is still haunting.

“I know what I’m capable of. I know what I can do,” said Gray. “It just seems like I’m being held back.”

Gray graduated from East High School in 2010, then enrolled at Southwest Tennessee Community College to study nursing. She also studied for a nursing degree at Concorde Career College in 2012.

“Now I feel like I’m letting myself down,” said Gray, trying to hold back the tears. “I feel like I’m letting my kids down.” 

(Wanda Taylor is accepting donations and help for Terrika Gray and her children. She can be reached at 901-351-9864)

Daughter of Ray Charles opens up about drugs and life without her father

Sheila Raye Charles finds solace in testifying about her life as the drug-dependent
daughter of the legendary Ray Charles. (Photo by Wiley Henry)

Her early childhood and years thereafter were painful, depraving and angst-filled, to say the least. But Sheila Raye Charles didn’t have much to look forward to without having much of her father in her life, the legendary Ray Charles.

Deprived of the doting relationship Charles sought with her father was enough to send her cascading down a seemingly never-ending slope into drug dependency and deviant behavior, which mirrored, in a way, her father’s 17-year heroin addiction.

Charles’ drug of choice was crack cocaine. She grappled with it for 20 years, served three prison terms, and, as a result, lost custody of her five children. She wrestled with what could be described as her demons, but managed to break free after undergoing a kind of Damascus Road experience.

 “Sheila Raye has fought off her demons and now has a powerful testimony,” said Wanda Taylor, president/CEO of Ladies in Need Can Survive, Inc., a 501(c) 3 non-profit transitional home for women who grapple with some the same vices and destructive behavior that nearly sent Charles over the edge.

Taylor was impressed with Charles’ riveting story and subsequent breakthrough and invited the singer, songwriter, evangelist, author and former substance abuser to Memphis on Sept. 23 to headline LINCS’s “Taking My Life Back” conference at the Pursuit of God Transformation Center in the Frayser community.

Charles has been telling her story to audiences from a very few to tens of thousands all around the world. The handful of people who came to hear her speak and sing at the Center drew inspiration from her testimony.

“It wasn’t my dream to be a speaker about addiction and recovery,” said Charles, who aspired to become a rock star when she was a little girl. “But through my journey of trying to be a rock star, I found myself engulfed in all the things that came with that – sex, drugs and rock and roll – the whole stigma.”

“She is not alone in the vices that had her bound,” said Taylor, who, like Charles, struggled with drugs, sex, errant behavior, and a stint in jail before she found God, then LINCS. She’d made up her mind that the road she was traveling would come to an end.

“It was easy for me to fall in that path, because I was a child in an adult’s body full of pain and hurt and sadness and anger,” said Charles, “all the things that a child goes through when you experience the things that I experienced – sexual abuse, abandonment issues from my father, an alcoholic mother.”

Charles spent a lifetime trying to suppress those “pains, hurts, shames and sadness.” The only way out, she said, was through self-medication.

 “At the age of 19, I had my first free-basing...I tried it and it was the most wonderful thing I’ve experienced,” said Charles, who would become dependent on the drug. “I didn’t get addicted then. It was after the age of 24 while experiencing Postpartum Depression.”

After Charles’ daughter was born, flashbacks took her back to that grim moment in time when she was sexually abused as a little girl. “I started remembering the euphoria I got from the cocaine,” she said. “I began to use it and it just spiraled down to a point where I literally lost everything in my life.”

She had become unhinged, destroying herself. She’d become the addict that she hated in her father. “He was an extraordinary man, but a horrible guy,” said Charles, one of 12 children her father pressed to succeed. “My father was hard on us almost to a fault.”

It wasn’t until later on in life that Charles started embracing her father. “Later on I felt cheated that I wasn’t able to be more intimate in his life,” she said. “He tried to show us love, but it wasn’t that ‘father knows best’ love. He didn’t have the tools to parent.”

Charles lives in Minneapolis, Minn. She is married to Michael “Tony” Steptoe. In 2007, she started One Way Up Prison Ministries to encourage women in prison to stay away from trouble and live productive lives, which she had failed to do before turning the page on a sordid lifestyle.

Charles details her story in the recently published book “Behind the Shades: Hope Beyond the Darkness.” It is a moving testimony about “redemption, reconciliation, and healing.” Sheila Raye Charles can be reached at (612) 876-7964.

‘OVERCOMERS’ – A Story of Survivors

Tajuana Clark fought as much as she could to stop the onslaught of verbal, psychological and physical abuse for nearly half of her 8½ years of marriage. After reaching the breaking point, she bolted with her six children and ended up homeless on the streets of Memphis.

     More than 11 years of marriage also ended for Dione Pruitt, who was subjected to her husband’s cruelty of verbal, psychological and physical abuse. She vamoosed with her five children, risking it all. With nowhere to turn and no one to turn to, sleeping in the car was her only recourse.

     According to The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Summary Report, about 1 in 4 women (24.3 percent) and 1 in 7 men (13.8 percent) have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner.

Tajuana Clark (seated), Dione Pruitt (left)
and Wanda Taylor. (Photo: Wiley Henry)

     The survey also reported that nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4 percent and 48.8 percent, respectively).

     Count Clark and Pruitt among the ranks. They were victimized by men purporting to love them, men with a propensity for violence, the third leading cause of homelessness among families. Their stories are similar and all too familiar. But then they found solace and renewal at LINCS (Ladies In Need Can Survive). 
With intense training, they were able to turn their lives around.

From crisis to rehabilitation…

     LINCS is a non-profit “home away from home” in the Frayser community for women who have been psychologically and physically abused, incarcerated, or struggling with poverty, substance abuse and homelessness.  

     Since LINCS’ opening during the summer of 2013, seven women have completed a structured, intensive training program: Drug and Alcohol Intensive Outpatient Program, Counseling, Anger Management, Domestic Violence Education, Parenting & Life Skills Coaching, Job Readiness, Career and Financial Planning, Educational Guidance, the Health and Wellness Program, First Aid/CPR and SIDS Training, and Housing Assistance.

     “We can house four women at a time, but I won’t leave a lady out because I can’t house them,” said Wanda Taylor, LINCS’ CEO and executive director. If the facility is full, she continues to extend a hand to feed other women or refers them to other facilities.

     “Every woman who comes through the door, I mentor them and provide services to get them back on track,” said Taylor. “Other programs deal with the addiction. I deal with the core issue, the root cause.”

     Women in distress are referred to LINCS by churches and a number of organizations, such as the YWCA, The Salvation Army, Friends For Life, Serenity Recovery Centers, Inc., and Project Homeless Connect Memphis.

Tajuana Clark: 
Failure is not an option

     “Being at the center taught me that dreams do come true,” said Clark, who underwent a rigorous training program to address her myriad problems. “I got into a good program so I wouldn’t be stuck in bondage.”
Clark received counseling, went back to high school to get her diploma, got a job, and then matriculated at National College in Memphis to become a pharmacy technician. Then it was on to Tennessee Academy of Cosmetology after National College closed its doors.

     “My career goal is to be a nurse practitioner,” said Clark, 30, who never thought any of her dreams would come to fruition. “I felt like I had a learning disability, but I was encouraged that it wasn’t too late for me.”
Once in school, Clark made good grades – A’s and B’s. “I knew I had it, but I felt I’d taken too long to get my diploma.”

     “Tajuana has completed the program and has done exceptionally well since she’s been in school,” said Taylor. “Now she has a positive outlook on life, no longer receives public assistance, and was reunited with her children after finishing the program.”

     As Clark recalls, “Ms. Wanda” was trying to get the center open when they met.

     “She stayed friends with me and loved me where I was. She encouraged me when I was going through not to give up. I felt like I’d failed myself and everybody, but she let me know that failure was not an option.”

     Clark fought mightily to turn her life around. “I was empty and had no more fight in me,” she said. “But then I knew I was a winner. I just thank God that I didn’t end up at a dead end.”

Dione Pruitt:
‘There is no turning back’

     “I’m free, I got peace, and I’m going to keep it like that,” said Pruitt, who has her own home now and a vehicle. Her children also were returned after the threat of domestic violence had ceased and after she was no longer homeless. Thanks to LINCS, “I’m just blessed.”

     Pruitt says she is stronger now than she was before. “I’m still processing and healing on certain things,” she said. “But I’m there. There is no turning back. I’ve come too far. My goal is to get my GED, own my own business, and just live life.”

     LINCS may have been Pruitt’s saving grace. She will graduate this month with her GED. “The only people I can really trust is Ms. Wanda and Ms. JoAnn Lee, my godmom,” said Pruitt, 33.

     “Dione was very timid because of all the abuse that she’s gone through,” Taylor said. “Her self esteem is at an all time high and she’s learned to love herself all over again.”

     Love had been fleeting or nonexistent, Pruitt claims. “When I left my husband, I was homeless and slept in my car. My oldest child was with me; the other children stayed with their fathers,” she said. “I stayed six months at the YWCA and got a referral to LINCS.”

     When Pruitt finally got herself together, her bearings straight, she surprised her daughter. “She was the first to see the house. The others came after a month. They were happy and running everywhere. So I just let them have a good time.”

     Pruitt said she was never told she was beautiful. “Now I know I’m beautiful,” she said confidently. “Nobody can take that away from me.”

Wanda Taylor: 
‘I’m an overcomer’

The women that Taylor has helped to get back on their feet are mirror images of herself. She grew up in a single parent household in public housing and likewise endured verbal, psychological and physical abuse.

     “My mom battled alcohol and my dad was addicted to drugs. So I was raised in the streets and grew up with gangsters, prostitutes and drug dealers,” said Taylor, who once lived with her brother and sister in both the Claiborne Homes and LeMoyne Gardens housing projects.

     The environment that Taylor was accustomed to was dangerous. She’d endeared herself to the underbelly of life and engaged in the type of illicit behavior that could’ve cost her life.

     "At 11, I was introduced to cocaine, alcohol and sex,” she said. “I started experiencing domestic violence at 15, dropped out of school in the 11th-grade, and became a teen mom. I had no morals and values.

     “I was so confused. I was selling drugs, stealing, in and out of the court. I’m the face in incest, homelessness, substance abuse, incarceration – everything. I lived at The Salvation Army twice, in a vacant apartment with my children, and out of my mom’s car.

     “I was shot at, stabbed, almost burned alive, and tied up. Guns were pulled on me countless times. And I also went through an abusive marriage – almost three years,” said Taylor, the mother of two adult children and three grandchildren.  

     In 1992, Taylor made a decision to transform her life. She found Jesus Christ. In 2002, at the age of 28, she received her high school diploma. At 35, she’d received a cosmetology diploma, technical certificate in Substance Abuse Counseling, and an Associate of Science degree in Human Services both from Southwest Tennessee Community College. She also earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management at the University of Phoenix.

     “I’m an overcomer,” she said.