Amended law mandates parenting class and video before couples divorce

Charlie Caswell (left), James Kirkwood, Roy Ray, Marie V. Pizano, Dr. Altha
Stewart and Laurie Powell are advocates for children seeking to build stronger
brains for them, create awareness for Adverse Childhood Experiences, and
provide mental health services. (Courtesy photo)

Marie V. Pizano is still feeling a little euphoric after learning that an amendment to a law mandating a parenting class for divorcing couples had recently passed in the Tennessee House of Representatives. 

“I started crying,” said Pizano, an author, film producer, businesswoman and community activist, after receiving the good news via text. 

Pizano had spent the better part of this year drumming up support for what resulted in a bipartisan effort to amend Tennessee Code Annotated, Title 36, Chapter 6. HB 2588 passed 95-0. On the other side, SB 2032 passed 30-0. 

“It’s official,” she said. “Now we’re waiting on the governor’s (Bill Lee) signature.”

The amendment requires that a 30-minute video on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) be shown to parents attending a parent educational seminar – in addition to them participating in a discussion – before the courts grant a divorce.

ACEs are defined by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention as potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood before the age of 18, such as witnessing violence, abuse, parental mental illness, substance use, divorce, incarceration, and domestic violence.

“In that class, it tells you the rules: [For example], don’t talk bad about the other parent, [or when there’s] harassment. It’s all the do’s and don’ts,” said Pizano, also the founder and CEO of MVP3 Entertainment Group, an artist and talent management firm located in Memphis.

With a full plate of entertainment fare already consuming her attention, Pizano made a decision earlier this year to seek political help for her ambitious goal to quell tensions between divorcing parents and the resulting collateral damage to children.

She personally understands the effects of ACEs after her first marriage went awry and after witnessing other families struggle themselves with emotional turmoil after a tumultuous divorce.

“Something needs to be done about parents who are divorcing,” she said, “because they’re the ones responsible for traumatizing their own children.” 

Pizano said she had listened to the horror stories, cringed because of broken homes, and abhors the use of children as weapons and pawns in the middle of a painful divorce. 

She has spoken about ACEs in her personal and professional lives for years and couldn’t put a name to the problems she had been dealing with. “I lived it myself,” she said. “It’s trauma after divorcing parents.”

Legacy of Legends CDC, a nonprofit in Memphis committed to developing trauma-informed and resilient communities, provides free training for ACEs. Pizano was trained and awarded a certificate. 

According to the CDC in Atlanta, ACEs are common, preventable and costly to families. “There is nothing wrong with educating parents on ACEs,” said Pizano, which prompted her to stump for legislation to improve the quality of life for families impacted by ACEs.

She first met with community stakeholders like the Rev. Charlie Caswell, the executive director of Legacy of Legends CDC and CEO/founder of 3V Leader; the Rev. James Kirkwood, executive director of Memphis Christian Pastors Network; Roy Ray, who works to keep youth out of the juvenile systems in Tennessee and Mississippi; Dr. Altha Stewart, senior associate dean for Community Health Engagement in the College of Medicine at UTHSC; and Laurie Powell, CEO at Alliance Health Services.

Then she turned her attention to the former Shelby County Mayor Mark H. Luttrell Jr. and discussed with him the possibility of getting a bill passed. Luttrell put her in touch with State Rep. Mark White (R-83) from Memphis.

Pizano then went on to lobby State Rep. Mary Littleton (R-78) from Dickson, TN; State Sen. Paul Rose (R-32) from Covington, TN; and State Rep. DeWayne Thompson (D-96) from Cordova, TN.

The language to the law that’s already on the books was subsequently amended and moved judiciously through the legislature. Rep. Littleton sponsored the House bill. Sen. Rose sponsored the Senate version. Dozens of legislators signed on as cosponsors – a bipartisan effort. 

Earlier this month, State Rep. Antonio Parkinson (D-98) of Memphis made a pitch on the House floor to his colleagues on both sides of the aisle and encouraged them to support HB 2588. “It’s a good bill,” he told them. 

Rep. White, Pizano’s initial point of contact in the House, was called to the podium to speak. He first acknowledged Pizano – “my constituent,” he said – who trekked to and fro to Capitol Hill before the advent of Covid-19. 

“Marie Pizano is very passionate about what we’re doing to children in domestic and divorce courts,” White said, “…when the homes break down and there’s a lot of bickering back and forth, these are ACE experiences.” 

He continued: “And these things build up and they have a lasting effect on our children.”

Pizano concurs. But there is more to the problem, she said, than warring parents – attorneys. “They want you to fight. If you fight, they make money. They profit off you.” 

She refers to these attorneys – at least some of them – as “unethical.” “Attorneys need to be trained as well and educated on ACEs,” said Pizano, and added: “They fueled my fire to go create change.”

That fire is still raging within her. “I want to clean up the family law system. I’m not going to give up,” she promised. 

Oldest Living African American Funeral Director Celebrated at 90

Mr. Joseph H. Ivy, seated alongside his wife Margaret Ivy, is the oldest living
African-American funeral director in Tennessee. He is surrounded by well-wishers
who paid tribute to him on his 90th birthday, June 7. (Photos by Wiley Henry)

On Sunday, June 7, a small crowd gathered at the corner of Curry Drive and Hyde Park Street in the Hyde Park community – not to protest man’s inhumanity to man, but to honor a man for his humanity.

This was a special day for Mr. Joseph H. Ivy, his 90th birthday, one that was replete with fanfare and a fleet of limousines and funeral cars from more than 40 funeral homes in Tennessee, Arkansas and Mississippi.

Funeral directors and morticians came together to pay tribute to one of their own, a man with the distinction of being the oldest living African-American funeral director in the state of Tennessee. 

Mr. Ivy has seen a lot of people in his 90 years – including the bevy while serving in the United States Army – but this groundswell was overwhelming from his vantage point under a tent at the corner of Curry, a short distance from his residence on the street.

Friends in the industry called out Mr. Ivy’s name from their funeral cars and esteemed him with their words as they made their way down Curry. He waved in return and said this about the experience: “It’s wonderful. I didn’t expect this attention.”

Funeral directors and morticians from funeral homes in
Tennessee, Mississippi and Arkansas, including several
motorcyclists, pulled up to Mr. Ivy's tent in more than 40
funeral cars and dropped off gifts to show their appreciation.

 

They presented gifts and more to celebrate the beloved funeral director for long life and his contribution to the industry. This was a surprise that the Rev. Quinton Taylor kept secret until this day. 

Mr. Ivy in return marveled at the unsuspecting display of affection. “I’m really surprised,” said Mr. Ivy, not a man of many words on this day. 

Age notwithstanding, Mr. Ivy is admired and respected throughout the funeral service industry all over the country, said Taylor, pastor of Second Baptist Church of Hernando, Miss., and president of Bluff City Funeral Directors & Morticians Association.

Hosted by Bluff City Funeral Directors & Morticians Association and Arkansas State Funeral Directors Association, Taylor thought the fêting of Mr. Ivy on his birthday was timely and the right thing to do for the man he nicknamed “The Godfather” of the funeral industry. 

When Taylor broached the idea of a surprise birthday celebration and a drive-by parade to his “boss” at M.J. Edwards Funeral Home – where Mr. Ivy works on the weekends when needed – he was given the green light to proceed. 

“When I was talking to my boss, he told me, ‘for Mr. Ivy, you won’t get no rejection.’ And everyone that I called to be a part of this, they said ‘[for] Mr. Ivy, we’ll be there,’” said Taylor, whom Mr. Ivy mentored at the onset of his career. 

City Councilman Edmund H. Ford Sr. of E.H. Ford Mortuary Services in Memphis happily answered Taylor’s call. Why? “Mr. Ivy is one of the greatest people in Memphis,” he said. “He’s helped everybody in Memphis.”

Including Ford’s father, the late Newton J. Ford, founder of N.J. Ford and Sons Funeral Home, Inc. “I go way back with Mr. Ivy to the days of my father,” Ford said. “He’s the father of all these funeral homes.”

Mr. Ivy was there when Monroe James Edwards founded M.J. Edwards Funeral Home, Taylor said, and drove the lead hearse in a long procession of white funeral cars after Mr. Edwards was eulogized last year in March.

Sarah Carpenter, a friend and neighbor, spoke fondly of Mr. Ivy. A community activist, she said the funeral director has been nothing but a man of integrity since meeting him 26 years ago. 

He also stepped in when Carpenter needed him the most. “When my mother died last year, Mr. Ivy drove the funeral car all the way to Somerville, Tenn.,” she said. “And he was 89 then.” 

Mr. Ivy started his career in the funeral service industry in 1966 at J.O. Patterson Mortuary. He was licensed in 1973 as a funeral director and managed the mortuary from 1985-2008.

In addition to directing Monroe J. Edwards’s funeral service, Mr. Ivy handled the services of other notables as well, including Bishop J.O. Patterson Sr. in 1989, the first presiding prelate of the Church of God in Christ, Inc.; Bishop J.O. Patterson Jr. in 2011, pastor of Pentecostal Temple Church of God in Christ and former chairman of the COGIC General Board; and Bishop Gilbert E. Patterson in 2007, also the presiding prelate of the Church of God in Christ, Inc.

Wendell Naylor, marketing manager for M.J. Edwards Funeral Home, said Mr. Ivy taught him a lot about the funeral business. And you don’t have to be a notable, he pointed out, for Mr. Ivy to provide quality service.

Naylor, president of Tennessee State Funeral Directors and Morticians Association, reflected on this advice from Mr. Ivy: “When driving a funeral car, he taught me to drive 5 miles below the speed limit – and don’t rush the family.” 

Mr. Ivy is the Association’s sergeant at arms emeritus, Naylor said, a position he’s held since 1979. He also attends meetings regularly, including meetings called by the Bluff City Funeral Directors & Morticians Association.

“He’s just a wonderful man,” Naylor said.

Mr. Ivy has been married to Margaret Ivy for 60 years. They have a son, Mario Ivy Sr.; a grandson, Mario Ivy Jr.; and one great grandson. He is a dedicated member of Smother’s Chapter CME Church in the North Memphis community.

And he’s just as dedicated to the funeral service industry – even at 90.

Nursing home residents treated to a parade of love

A parade of automobiles rolled in and out of Graceland Rehabilitation and Nursing
Center's parking lot in a show of love and appreciation for residents sheltering in
place due to COVID-19. (Photos by Wiley Henry)

After shutting the doors to visitors in mid-March due to COVID-19, the staff at Graceland Rehabilitation and Nursing Center exceeded their goal for residents to see their loved ones.

More than 50 automobiles at one time stretched four city blocks in the Whitehaven community on May 30 between 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. The parade snaked in and out of Graceland’s parking lot in a show of love and appreciation. 

The staff positioned most residents under tents to shade them from the mid-day temperature as horns blared ceremoniously. Some residents waved approval as the parade rolled by them – some carrying balloons, others holding signs with the names of loved ones.

“Today was an opportunity for residents who haven’t had a chance to see their families – going on two months now – to have the face-to-face time,” LaToya Baker, Graceland’s director of Marketing and Public Relations, explained. 

“We saw nationally where other organizations were doing a parade,” said Baker. “We thought that would be a great way to maintain social distancing and encourage a little back and forth with their family.”

This three-wheel car, or trike, was one of more than
50 automobiles on the scene.

Elizabeth Perkins was delighted. She had not seen her sister Dorothy Brown since management shut the doors to keep COVID-19 at bay. She and her husband, Arthur Perkins, pulled into the parking lot with the name DOROTHY BROWN emblazoned on a sign. 

“It brought joy to my heart not only to see my sister, but to see other patients,” she said. “It was nice the way they had it set up. It was more close-and-personal than what I thought.” 

Brown thought the “close-and-personal” parade of automobiles was a good idea. “Some people haven’t seen their folks in a long time,” she responded by phone the next day. “It was good.”

Not all well-wishers expressed love from their automobiles. At least seven of them from Greater Love Miracle Center Church on Vance Avenue stood outside the wrought iron gate singing. Their songs were underscored with messages of love.

“We’re here doing our duty as Christians…encouraging these patients and the people that are working here…letting them know somebody cares, somebody loves them,” said Vernita Westbrook, who co-pastors the church with her husband, the Rev. Dennis Westbrook.  

“This is our duty to visit those who need us,” she said. “We have a group of people here just to encourage them.” 

Two sisters and a niece and nephew were encouraged. They came to lay eyes on Daisy Pettis, if only for a moment.

“I really miss coming to see my sister every week like I normally would do,” said Maria Lee, but then added, “This works for me.”

 Another sister, Mary Watson, chimed in. “I usually come every Wednesday. Since this (pandemic) has been going on, I can’t come and can’t call. [But] I’m glad the day was a good opportunity for me to see her.” 

Watson was happy to know that Daisy Pettis, a resident of two years, was looking good.

LaToya Lee, whose mother is Maria Lee, is the niece of Watson and Pettis. She noticed something about her aunt. “When we did drive by, I saw my aunt shed a few tears,” she said. “It lets me know that she misses us as much as we miss her.”

She added that the “drive by” had really shown her that people really care about their loved ones instead of just dropping them off and not coming back to see them.

Tommie Lee Jr., LaToya Lee’s brother, expressed a little sadness, though. He said the experience touched him. “But it’s kind of sad that you can’t sit with her, speak to her, or pick her up.” 

The residents at Graceland are faring well considering COVID-19’s onslaught on nursing homes around the country and in Memphis and Shelby County. However, Baker said there hasn’t been an outbreak among the 155 residents at the 200-bed facility.

At least 70 residents participated, she said.

While COVID-19 is ravaging nursing homes, the most vulnerable population, Baker said Graceland is following the Center for Disease Control and Prevention protocols to ensure the safety of residents and workers.

According to the Shelby County Health Department’s latest figures, there are 4,581 cases of COVID-19 in Shelby County, and that number includes 102 deaths. At least one-third of those deaths were nursing home residents and workers.

Has there been any residents infected with COVID-19 at Graceland?

“We’ve had people that we suspected; and when we did, we tested them,” said Baker. “But we’ve been very fortunate that we don’t have any confirmed cases of COVID-19 at the facility.” 

The residents’ temperatures are checked periodically and sporadically throughout the day, Baker said. Also, the staff wears masks, including the residents when they’re not in their rooms.

Although the residents have been confined to the facility with little interaction with their families, Baker said they may plan another parade to connect residents with families before it gets excruciatingly hot.